What Happens When You Hand Your Car Keys Over To A Complete Stranger?

Your car gets stolen. Imagine that. Another 'win' for valet parking.

The 57-year-old Port Charlotte resident told deputies that when she returned to the parking lot after visiting her sick husband on Tuesday afternoon, a man approached her and identified himself as a valet parking employee. He said there was a problem with the valet parking service and requested she give him her valet receipt for inspection

That's what happens when you are conditioned to believe it's ok to give your (probably) most valuable possession to a stranger....

Why Valet Parking Is A Really, Really Bad Idea...

As I mentioned in a previous post, valet parking should be avoided at all costs. Unless, that is, you think the convenience is worth handing over one of your most expensive possessions to a high school drop-out-stalker-serial-killer who's name you won't even bother to get.

Of course it's not just the car that's being handed over, but some fools also hand over their house keys (for an hour or more). And almost everyone hands over their registration/insurance information (in the car, of course) which usually contains the owner's home address. If you're lucky, maybe the valet will just do a little joyriding with your car or use it as a taxi. Of course, he might be a really good person, but you'll be leaving that up to chance, won't you?

Now, if you've ever read the back of your valet ticket, you know that if pretty much anything happens to your car, it's not their fault. Here's a few choice lines from a real valet ticket:

"Cars driven by our employees solely at owner's risk. Not responsible for fire or theft."

That pretty much sums up the relationship you have with these people. You pay us to park your car, and YOU, not us, are responsible for anything that goes wrong. Which is (dis) comforting, because while you might take time to park your car in a good, well-lit area or avoid slamming the car into a curb/poll/ and/or parking in someone's private driveway where it might get towed, the valet is more worried about quickly parking your car and getting back to park/pick-up another car to get paid. And as far as theft goes, many valets keep the keys in the parked car or in an unwatched key box. They're not too worried about it of course, because, after all, it's your problem. So if your valet forgets to set the parking brake and your car rolls out into the street, or they accidentally rip up one of your $1000 rims and a $400 tire on a curb, well, that's your "risk" coming back to haunt you.

And it's usually right after something like that happens that you are forced to read your auto insurance policy only to find out that your auto insurance company won't cover damage caused by a valet. "What? my insurance company won't cover my $40,000 BMW just because I let a high school drop-out-stalker-serial-killer guy who had his driver's license revoked for 3 DUIs (and, of course, I don't know his name) drive my car into a wall? Unbelievable!"

So now you're stuck dealing with the super reputable valet "company", who thoughtfully and fortuitously put that liability waver on the back of your claim ticket. More likely than not, the valet company will refuse to pay, either claiming that the damage was there before you arrived (How will you prove it wasn't?), or by claiming that you didn't identify the damage before leaving (if you find after you leave the lot, you're definitely on your own). Seems like a whole lot of risk for a very little 'convenience', doesn't it??

Oh, and if your car has nice rims, always check to see that your spare tire hasn't disappeared while you were eating dinner (Particularly if it's a rental car). It's valuable and easy to steal because people don't even think about it until they have a flat (months or years later). Who would bother to check that??? Well the rental car company will when you return the car...and guess who will get to pay for that?

Yup - you will.

Security Tips For Peons

While I have no formal credentials as a security professional, I would like to offer some security tips that I have learned/collected over the years. Some of these come from reading the local police news blotter, others come from direct experience with crime. So, while going about your life, keep these tips in mind:

In the Home

1. Always keep your exterior doors and windows locked (fairly obvious, you’d think).
2. Learn about lock bumping and why (sadly) it means that most exterior door locks (including deadbolts) are not much better than your flimsy bathroom lock which can be opened with a dime. Then have a locksmith install an bump-proof lock.
   
3. Install a peephole in your exterior door if it doesn’t already have one.
4. Never open your door for someone you are not expecting or do not know. I cannot tell you the sheer number of home invasions that occur because the criminals rang the doorbell and the victims opened the door. Occasionally they will kick in the door or climb in through a broken window, but more often than not, they just knock or ring the doorbell. If it’s a delivery person and you’re not expecting a delivery, don’t open the door. Uniformed person you were not expecting needing to “check” something? A nice old man selling chocolates to buy puppies for the orphaned children of Yugoslavia? Again, DON’T OPEN THE FREAKING DOOR! Read this horrific story if you need more justification as to why opening the door to strangers is a bad idea. But the examples of this problem are everywhere.
   
5. If you have children, never, EVER let them answer the door. Of all the people in your house that should have the responsibility of being the gatekeeper of your home, a child is the least capable to take on that level of responsibility. The additional risk of abduction just adds to the multitude of reasons why children should be taught only adults can open the door if the doorbell rings.
6. Install a security system. A security system can bring you piece of mind when you’re not at home. It can even bring you a discount on your insurance. But most importantly, it can tell you what the %$@#$$ is going on downstairs at 3:18 am when you’re sound asleep in your 2nd or 3rd floor bedroom. Alarm systems don’t have to be expensive or continuously monitored. This wireless system actually works well despite it’s cheesy website (and can even call you for alerts when you’re not at home).
7. Install a keyed lock on your bedroom door and lock it when you sleep. This is critical if you absolutely cannot afford an alarm system. Kwikset makes a very easy to install keyed entry door lock. The point is not to keep someone out indefinitely. It's just to give you enough time to wake up, realize what's going on and 'activate' your plan. Speaking from experience, you never want to wake up with a stranger in your room. If you do, you’re going to wish you had installed that lock. Trust me.
8. Have a plan. This is another no-brainer. Have a phone in your room, and know that after you call 911, you will be waiting the longest 5 minutes (if you're lucky) of your life for the police to arrive. What will you do during that eternal 5 minutes? While we're on the topic of planning, have you ever thought about what you would do in a house fire?
   

In Your Car

1. When you come to a stoplight, never pull up so close to the car in front of you that you cannot drive off to the right or left. This is particularly important if it's late or if the road is mostly empty. Always allow yourself room to drive off should a driver get out of their car for any reason. A broken down car or a carjacking - you'll always be thankful for the room.
2. As in the home, keep your doors locked.
3. Carry Mace in your car (if it's legal where you live). It's always good to have if you find yourself suddenly stranded on the side of the road.
   
4. Carry a cell phone. If you can't afford a regular cell phone, pick up a 'disposable' phone and buy phone cards. For most of the US, I have found that Virgin Mobile has the best overall deal. Get a phone for around $20, and add at least $20 every 90 days, or add $90 dollars in any 72 hour period and those minutes won't expire for 1 year. So for $110 you can have an emergency phone in your car for a year. Don't forget to keep it charged.
5. Avoid valet parking like you would avoid a hemorrhaging Ebola victim. This one has me so fired up, I've given it its own post.
   

Outside

1. Always keep aware of your surroundings. Never jog with headphones...sorry, I know it's why you bought the iPod. But jogging with headphones shows a predator that you're not paying attention.
2. Carry a small can of Mace or pepper spray (if it's legal where you live...and it's not everywhere).
   
3. Be wary of talkative strangers. More often than not, these 'sudden friends' want to sell you something. Either way, you really don't want to be bothered with their sales pitch while you go about your life. Otherwise, you would have called them, right?
   
4. See #4 above, - Carry a cellphone.
   
5. Most importantly, trust your gut instinct. If you feel a situation is getting dicey, NEVER second guess it. Get yourself out of the situation as fast as possible, and prepare for the worst. If everything goes well, people might think you're a bit paranoid. If something goes wrong, you'll be as ready as you can be. I can live with that, and you can too.

In General

1. Get a P.O. Box, and have all your mail sent there. At a minimum, it adds a layer between you and all the people you must correspond with. It's also much more secure than an apartment/house mailbox. Also, many states will allow you to put a P.O. Box on your driver's license as long as your physical address is on file.
2. Use credit cards (like you would a debit, with no balance carried from month to month) instead of debit cards. As I've written about before, debit cards are like the keys to your bank account. Lose control of your debit card and life will suck for you. And while the bank may limit your liability, they're not really good at limiting the serious discomfort you will feel when you find your account has been emptied. Read here for more details.