Why Valet Parking Is A Really, Really Bad Idea...

As I mentioned in a previous post, valet parking should be avoided at all costs. Unless, that is, you think the convenience is worth handing over one of your most expensive possessions to a high school drop-out-stalker-serial-killer who's name you won't even bother to get.

Of course it's not just the car that's being handed over, but some fools also hand over their house keys (for an hour or more). And almost everyone hands over their registration/insurance information (in the car, of course) which usually contains the owner's home address. If you're lucky, maybe the valet will just do a little joyriding with your car or use it as a taxi. Of course, he might be a really good person, but you'll be leaving that up to chance, won't you?

Now, if you've ever read the back of your valet ticket, you know that if pretty much anything happens to your car, it's not their fault. Here's a few choice lines from a real valet ticket:

"Cars driven by our employees solely at owner's risk. Not responsible for fire or theft."

That pretty much sums up the relationship you have with these people. You pay us to park your car, and YOU, not us, are responsible for anything that goes wrong. Which is (dis) comforting, because while you might take time to park your car in a good, well-lit area or avoid slamming the car into a curb/poll/ and/or parking in someone's private driveway where it might get towed, the valet is more worried about quickly parking your car and getting back to park/pick-up another car to get paid. And as far as theft goes, many valets keep the keys in the parked car or in an unwatched key box. They're not too worried about it of course, because, after all, it's your problem. So if your valet forgets to set the parking brake and your car rolls out into the street, or they accidentally rip up one of your $1000 rims and a $400 tire on a curb, well, that's your "risk" coming back to haunt you.

And it's usually right after something like that happens that you are forced to read your auto insurance policy only to find out that your auto insurance company won't cover damage caused by a valet. "What? my insurance company won't cover my $40,000 BMW just because I let a high school drop-out-stalker-serial-killer guy who had his driver's license revoked for 3 DUIs (and, of course, I don't know his name) drive my car into a wall? Unbelievable!"

So now you're stuck dealing with the super reputable valet "company", who thoughtfully and fortuitously put that liability waver on the back of your claim ticket. More likely than not, the valet company will refuse to pay, either claiming that the damage was there before you arrived (How will you prove it wasn't?), or by claiming that you didn't identify the damage before leaving (if you find after you leave the lot, you're definitely on your own). Seems like a whole lot of risk for a very little 'convenience', doesn't it??

Oh, and if your car has nice rims, always check to see that your spare tire hasn't disappeared while you were eating dinner (Particularly if it's a rental car). It's valuable and easy to steal because people don't even think about it until they have a flat (months or years later). Who would bother to check that??? Well the rental car company will when you return the car...and guess who will get to pay for that?

Yup - you will.